“Do you like sex with death?” “Yeah, so fuck off and die.”-RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD
From the earliest horror films, sex has always played a major role in the success and intrigue of the bastard genre of cinema. Whether it’s the sexual ambiguity of Count Dracula or the screaming topless women of the slasher subgenre, sex and horror go together like ramalamalama ka dinga da dinga dong. In some instances, sex is thrown into a horror film because it feels like it’s expected to be there, and therefore, feels a bit gratuitous. Sadly, sex is sometimes also used as a vehicle to expose the despicable and monstrous side of humanity. However, when sex is combined with horror successfully, it creates an entirely new experience for fans of the genre. With our adrenaline already skyrocketed from a sense of fear, adding a sense of arousal only sweetens the view. Be careful, you might have to adjust your seat, because these are the top ten hottest sex scenes in horror films.
10) EMBRACE OF THE VAMPIRE
Once Upon A Time, there was an adorable little actress on WHO’S THE BOSS? named Alyssa Milano. One day, Alyssa Milano grew up and switched from America’s hearts, to their libidos. Completely shattering the child-star stigma, Alyssa Milano transformed into a bonafide sex symbol with shows like CHARMED, but it’s her role in EMBRACE OF THE VAMPIRE that earns her a spot on this list. If 50 Shades of Grey combined with an Anne Rice novel, you’d get EOTV. Half fantasy, half reality, full on sexy, Alyssa Milano has a multitude of incredibly hot sex scenes throughout this film that looks unlike any other erotic fantasy film out there. Perhaps it’s because this film was directed by a woman, perhaps not. Regardless, Samantha Micelli was all grown up in this flick.
Science-Fiction fans have been dreaming about boning aliens, elves, and robot women from the very emergence of the subgenre. Every scruffy looking nerf herder at some point or another has wondered what it would be like to get some of that intergalactic poon-tang, which is why a film like SPECIES did so well at the box office upon its release. The film got mostly negative reviews, but if you honestly think people saw this movie looking for a solid storyline, you’re out of your damn mind. The entire purpose of this film is to watch the alien-woman Sil (played by the wicked hot Natasha Henstridge) try to find a man to mate with. This movie was fan-fiction, before fan-fiction was fan-fiction. For Sil, she needs to find a mate to continue on her species, sex isn’t about the experience, it’s about breeding. The sex scenes are incredibly nice to look at, but when she slowly morphs into her alien form mid-coitus, it makes everyone question their boners.
08) PHANTASM II
One of the most beloved horror franchises, PHANTASM gave audiences an unlikely hero in the face of Reggie Bannister. When The Tall Man invades his life once more, he’s off on another quest to put an end to him, that ends up with Reggie picking up a hitchhiker than eerily resembles a dead naked chick he saw in an apparition from The Tall Man. Genius work, Reggie. In “holy-crap-this-was-clearly-written-by-a-dude” predictable plot twists, the less-than-attractive Reggie Bannister gets it on with the young and wicked hot Alchemy (played by Samantha Phillips). Yeah, this super hot babe gets it on with a guy who still rocks a Skullet. If you choose not to look at Reggie, the scene is incredibly hot considering how sexy Samantha Phillips is, but the end of the film explains her away her behavior. I won’t spoil it for you, but Alchemy is definitely not what she appears. Wait, the super hot woman he found on the road isn’t what she appears to be? Color me shocked.
07) JASON GOES TO HELL: THE FINAL FRIDAY
Final? That’s a good joke, guys. The entire FRIDAY THE 13TH series is only possible because of sex. If those camp counselors had been paying better attention instead of “making love,” as Momma Voorhees puts it, we wouldn’t have ever had to deal with this mess of hockey masks and splattered bodies. Sex has always played a major role in these films, but none of the films has a sex scene quite like JASON GOES TO HELL. Just like camping, this sex scene is IN TENTS. (Sorry, I’m not sorry for that pun.) We see our young lovers gettin’ their freak on in the middle of the woods in a tent, while a girl gets hacked to bits outside by our favorite momma’s boy. The two are having some incredibly steamy (and pretty graphic) relations when the girl on top (because horror films apparently believe women can ONLY be on top) gets split in two by Jason…while the dude is still inside of her. A little bit hilarious, a lot a bit awesome.
06) NEKROMANTIK 2
Mmm. Corpse boning. Monkia is a necrophiliac (because having a man be a necrophiliac is creepy while a female is hot?) but still plays it cool by having sex with men who get hard without the aide of rigor mortis. In quite possibly one of the most insane sex scenes in cinema history, Monika is riding this guy (again, woman on top…) when she suddenly chops off his head. Blood sprays everywhere and she rubs it all over her body like Elizabeth Bathory, and then replaces the guy’s head with the decomposed head of her dead boyfriend. She then continues to ride him like Seabiscuit until having an orgasm that rivals WHEN HARRY MET SALLY in intensity. It’s definitely a scene that we shouldn’t find hot…but do.
05) FRIDAY THE 13TH (2009)
Here we are again with another Jason Voorhees inspired round of bumpin’ naughty bits. In the surprisingly solid remake of the classic, the modern audience was given a taste of 80s sleeze with the over the top sexin’ done by Julianna Guill. Here we have yet another woman on top, but this little lady is demanding and totally in control. It’s liberating and refreshing to see a woman take charge in the bedroom, and she doesn’t stop for anything. She and her man keep it going hot and heavy for a solid three minutes. Trust me folks, it’s a good one.
04) AMERICAN PSYCHO
Oh, Christian Bale. The things you do to me…Patrick Bateman is a total psychopath, but he’s also one of the most eligible men on Wall Street. Everything about Patrick Bateman exudes sex appeal. The man watches porn while doing crunches! However, it’s his famous prostitution three way that earns his way onto this list. He records it, he demands cunnilingus, and he thrusts like a champ. Even he knows he does with his signature flexing and winking to the mirror while hitting it from behind. We’re lucky that this film was directed by a woman, because that is one of the very, VERY few sex scenes that showcase sex as something other than the woman doing all the work and the man just laying on his back and enjoying himself. Come on, filmmakers…you can’t tell me you don’t like your women in other ways. I know, I know, I just said that it was liberating to see a woman take charge in F13, but that’s a lone case where the woman actually looks like she’s doing it for her own desire and not out of obligation. I digress. Not to mention, that scene is pivotal in showcasing how Patrick Bateman views sex, and had it been just another “woman on top” sort of scene, it would have completely destroyed the integrity of the character. Patrick Bateman does not just lay there, he takes charge and takes what he wants. Thank the universe for that.
03) THE HUNGER
God bless lesbian vampire movies. For someone as high-status as Susan Sarandon or Catherine Deneuve, it’s incredible that this scene even exists. The bisexual love triangle in THE HUNGER is one of the most memorable girl/girl/guy storylines in all of the vampire subgenre. However, it’s the incredibly passionate exploration between Sarandon and Deneuve that had audiences adjusting the seams of their pants. Their sex scene wasn’t some “Ooooh, right therrrrreeee” whiny-sounding lesbian scene the way most movies portray them, but rather an incredibly sensual sex scene that showed the intensity of discovering another person’s body for the first time. Janet Weiss apparently did change forever after her encounter with Dr. Frankenfurter…
First of all, this list is inspired by a conversation I had with Icons’ own Rob G about the way sex is portrayed in horror films. While I ranked it 2nd (because my #1 is way better) this film was the one Rob G picked as his number 1. The newest film on this list, EXCISION makes us question where we draw the line between sexual preference and sexual deviance. EXCISION is truly one of a kind, and it’s the look inside the main character Pauline’s fantasies that enforce this mentality. Her fantasies are extreme, to say the least, but they’re grotesquely arousing. What adds to this response is in large part how stunning these fantasies are shot. The angles are absolutely breathtaking and the contrast of colors just heightens all senses. Everything about her blood-soaked sexual desires scream “wrong, taboo, wrong, weird, wrong, creepy, wrong, gross, wrong” and yet we can’t help but find ourselves with a mad case of the vapors.
01) DELLAMORTE, DELLAMORE (CEMETERY MAN)
Viva Italia! There isn’t, without a shadow of a doubt, a hotter sex scene in horror history. Despite the fact that Rupert Everett is a disco-dancin’, Oscar Wilde readin’, Streisand ticket-holding friend of Dorothy, he makes you believe that he is totally down with O.P.P. Don’t get me wrong, Rupert Everett is a hot man, but he is absolutely NOTHING compared to Anna Falchi. The illustrious woman simply named “She” gives Everett the ride of his life atop of a grave. This is the only time where I am thankful the woman was on top. As she arches her back, the angel statue behind her makes it appear as if she has wings. Her boobs are perfection, her face is glorious, and now she looks like an angel. You really can’t beat that.