For this week’s Exploitation Alley, I picked a film that I had the pleasure of viewing recently. I was interested in this for a couple of reasons: I had never seen it before, and the cover looked so awesome. I was expecting epic rituals with naked ladies, snakes eating humans, and possibly a plot that made sense. I got none of those. I did however, find a hilarious “what the hell is going on I want to invite people over to watch this just so I can laugh at their facial expressions during the movie” movie. So, exploitation fans, be prepared to be confused, and slightly entertained….it’s time for NIGHT OF THE COBRA WOMAN!!!!!
Directed by Andrew Meyer, NIGHT OF THE COBRA WOMAN made its debut in 1972. After enduring the lamest opening credits ever, we meet Lena and Francisca, two nurses taking a nice little stroll during WW2 and it is so awkward. Seriously, their dialogue in the opening scene is just so bad. It will cause laughter to all who make it that far. After the unnatural dialogue, Lena decides for some reason she has to explore a cave, while Francisca stands outside. Lena comes in contact with a Cobra, and in a totally cheesy way, she becomes this weird snake/creepy woman. Francisca suffers a terrible fate, by being sexually assaulted and shot. Lena rubs the snake on Francisca’s wound, and heals her. Last time I checked, Cobra’s had the opposite of healing power, but ok. Flash forward to the 70s, we meet Joanna, a young, beautiful girl who is studying snake venom. After hearing Joanna talk about things that don’t make sense to anyone but a snake expert, she wanders over to Lena’s place. However, she flees after being scared away (and groped) by Francisca’s son. If you think this film doesn’t make any sense right now, just wait. It gets horribly confusing. Joanna picks up her boyfriend Stan from the airport. They seem into each other till shortly after his arrival; Stan stumbles across Lena’s home and gets bit by Movini, Lena’s Cobra friend. For no apparent reason, as Lena nurses him back to health, he stays with her and forgets all about Joanna.
Now, if you made it this far into the film, you are a trooper. The movie takes a different turn when Lena unexpectedly seduces Stan. She then reveals to us the entire random plot that we have been waiting for: She has to sleep with guys, random young guys to be specific, to stay young. Oh yes she does. While all this is going on, she sucks the life out of them with her cobra like love making, (yes, she even sheds like a snake does) and the best part is, not one of her “gentlemen” notices her shedding. Like seriously, that should be a deal breaker,..but it’s not. They ignore it just like she ignores the fact that Stan is wearing a shirt with his last name, Duff, embroidered on it. Just when you think it can’t get any more ridiculous than what you are currently viewing, a few drawn out scenes that don’t make sense creep up on you, and leads to an ending fit for “this type” of film.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I enjoyed this very much. Not because it’s great, but because I can’t believe whoever made this intended on producing a serious film. Complete terrible dialogue, bad acting, and the movie being all over the place when it comes to a plot, but with that being said, this can be a fun experience if you can tolerate it.