Never Cry Werewolf
I would’ve loved to have been present when the geniuses at Genius Entertainment got together for the pitch meeting for Never Cry Wolf. I imagine it went something like this:
“So I have this great idea. Everyone’s into ‘re-imagining’ old horror movies. So why don’t we re-imagine Fright Night? Nobody’s gotten to that one yet!” “Well, buying the remake rights would be expensive… Let’s make it a werewolf instead of a vampire! They’ll never figure out we ripped them off!” “Hey, we could use that Malcolm McDowell from the first one in a cameo! Fans must’ve loved him in the original!” “Yeah, but that Andie MacDowell guy’s dead, I think… let’s replace him in our flick with Kevin Sorbo!” “Hercules: The Legendary Werewolf Adventures! I love it!” “Anybody got a decent werewolf Halloween mask?” “Wait, did anybody here see Fright Night?” “Of course not! Do you really think that matters?”
Though I’ve never been a huge fan of Fright Night, I have to give it credit on a few points. It had an ambitious concept, and aspired to give a unique experience to jaded vampire fans. The actors, including Roddy McDowall, William Ragsdale and an effectively creepy Chris Sarandon, sold the material well. Its fans revere it for just those reasons. Never Cry Wolf aspires only to be a derivative product that is an insult to Tom Holland’s well loved vampire movie, replacing all the things that made Holland’s movie work with piss poor special effects, acting, casting (the heroine’s mother is played by an actress who appears to be about 3 years older than the heroine) and plot. In doing so, it has the overall feel of a Sci Fi channel, something no horror fan would ever claim about Fright Night.
Nor should any horror fan find any joy Genius Entertainment’s Never Cry Werewolf, which has no genius behind it, and offers no entertainment whatsoever. Do yourself a favor and watch Fright Night instead. That’s what I’m going to do.
–Phil Fasso
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