Seldom have I come across a film that I have nothing good to say about. This is one of them. The name stinks, the story is weak at best, the acting is tops out at nice try, the effects are dreadful, and the selling point for the film is that it stars “Miss Howard Stern” Andrea Ownby. Lets start there. Andrea is in the film for all of ten minutes and she has a speaking role. Have you ever heard her speak? There is only two reasons to have that woman in a film and believe it or not, you don’t get to see either of them.
The film looks to be shot in video, if it was done in film it is the worst production ever. The sets are weak and the effects, oh god. We did better make up when I was ten and getting ready for Halloween. They are truly dreadful, and not in the way you want.
The plot is about a doctor who spends time in the jungle and encounters real zombies. He takes some blood samples back to the States with him. When he returns, he has an affair with a student, which turns into a horribly directed sex scene that looks like a camera man trying to get in to porn the way he shoots her nipples on zoom. After she threatens to tell, he injects her with the zombie blood to start an experiment. Of course it goes horribly wrong. Sarah and Allison are the main characters of the film are in class with Clare (Ownby) and Julie, the two cool chicks. Sarah makes Allison look bad in class and she vows revenge. When Allison discovers the teachers little experiment, she takes the remaining blood and infects Allison. Due to an undetermined reason, Allison doesn’t become a full on zombie. She can keep her wits long enough to plan out who and how she is going to eat someone. The goal is to feel bad for her, but the acting I so lame you don’t feel anything. Also the fact that they hang this on a “Goth” girl is so lame and predictable it’s almost angering.
They say Plan 9 From Outer Space is the worst film ever. I’ve seen it and never thought it lived up to that billing. I have seen several films like this though, which are at least on par with Plan 9 if not worse, and I would take that film anytime over this.