Insatiable, The

THE INSATIABLE.

Damn these darned vampire movies! Ok, presentation is part of the whole package, right? So from now on, I’m opening the reviews with my thoughts on the cover artwork before anything else. After all, isn’t that what most of us look at first when we’re deciding on what to rent or buy? Take a look at the cover image above and the tagline. “Once you’ve tasted the afterlife, there’s no turning back.” This movie’s about as good as you think it is judging from the cover and tagline.

Now, the main reason I wanted to check this out is because the lead in it is Sean Patrick Flanery (THE BOONDOCK SAINTS, THE DEAD ZONE series), one of my favorite actors and it also features Michael Biehn. (He just rules.) And… that’s about it. I liked some of the cast, so I decided to give it a whirl. Flanery plays Harry Balbo, a geeky/sorta loser-ish salesman who witnesses a brutal murder at the hands of Tatiana, a local vampire who’s been ripping the heads off of victims in the area for several months now. Balbo becomes obsessed with what he witnessed and starts searching out vampire websites. Through the internet, he meets wheelchair bound vampire hunter Strickland (Biehn) who instructs him to track down Tatiana and kill her. However, when faced with the task at hand, Harry chickens out and instead plans an elaborate track using himself as bait to trap Tatiana in a steel cage in his basement. Intrigued and smitten by the girl, he can’t bring himself to kill her. He also can’t bare to watch her die, which she will if she doesn’t feed on fresh blood soon enough. He first tries to bring her a bunny, but it’s not good enough. She requires something bigger. Between her seductress nature, will she convince Harry to bring her some victims?

I didn’t really care to find out, but I did stick it out for the ending to find out regardless, and I was kind of disappointed. Ok, before anything… this is a well made film. Sean Patrick Flanery is great in it. It’s difficult for him to NOT be great in something. Even Michael Biehn, who only appears briefly, is actually really good too. I guess for me, I’m just so sick of the romanticized vampire. And in a weird way, this is a love story about Harry Balbo’s obsession with the girl (or in this case the vampire) he just can’t have. Charlotte Ayanna is pretty hot, but Tatiana didn’t really do anything for me as a character. I didn’t care about her or anyone else for that matter. (By the way, she’s also in another vampire flick THE THIRST.) So while it’s a well made film, and a tad above the average direct-to-DVD type stuff, this just ain’t my kind of vampire flick. For some of you out there, you may really dig it. This just wasn’t my thing.

Special Features: No features besides a slew of trailers for a bunch of flicks which will most likely all have terrible front cover DVD artwork. –Robg.

Buy it on Amazon.com!