The Covenant


My sister had this lying around so I decided to take a look.

Wow. I’m so glad that someone finally gave my one of my favorite directors, David DeCocteu, some money to make the movie he’s always wanted to make.

Oh wait, David DeCocteu didn’t direct this.

Well, that’s what this is. It’s a $20 million dollar version of those "Brotherhood" vampire-boys-in-speedos movies you see clogging up the shelves of your local Blockbuster Video. Except they’re not vampires, they’re witches. Oh, no, I mean warlocks. Sca-ry.

It’s like "The Craft" but without Fairuza Balk staring all googly eyed through the whole thing and nobodys hair falls out. However, if you’re a guy and you watch this your pubes might fall out and you might turn into a 12 year old girl.  

Special Features: Shirtless boys with abs.

Buy it on!